The thing that some of my friends around me don’t get is that I don’t want to get on with life as I see my life isn’t worth getting on with without Kasper. I feel that he was my true love.
“You’ll move on…it may hurt alot now but things will get better.”
No. They won’t. You know why? Because that is my choice.
I choose not to get on with my life because he was something that made my miserable life worth living. He isn’t something I’m going to give up on. Because when you find your true love, you never give up.
My mood has been like some crazy roller coaster ride the past 2 weeks. Going from glad and giddy to majorly depressed and sobbing my heart out the next hour. But you know what…I have now accepted that I need to give him his space so he can start to feel his own feelings…if he even lets that happen…
But at least I know that I tried.
To make things sadder….I had a really disturbing dream today..Might write about it in another post because I tend to write my dreams out like a story and they can get pretty detailed. BUT! I had another dream after my disturbing one…A dream that Kasper came back to me, begging me to be with him again because he realised that it wasn’t worth giving up on…That’s how the atmosphere felt like at least.
But the dream was so realistic that I belived it for a split second when I woke up…only for everything to come crashing down agan when I realised that it was actually just a dream and I didn’t wake up to him beside me.
I just wish you’d let yourself write to me…Instead of straight up ignoring me when you said yourself you never wanted it to happen…